How-to: Potentially Ruin Cupcakes

Step 1: Friend is turning 22, miss her big blow-out going out party. Offer to have her over for wine & cupcakes.

Step 2: Look up some awesome cupcake recipes online.

Step 3: Remember that you are not a good baker.

Step 4: Remember that this lady is a very good baker. Ask boyfriend to pick up devil’s food cake mix on the way home.

Step 5: Realize you do not have 1/3 cup of vegetable oil other than olive oil (not cake friendly). So substitute butter instead, it will be fine you’ve done it before. Add those farm fresh eggs that mom keeps insisting that you should take even though she just gave you half a dozen last week.

Step 6: Realize that you do not have enough cupcake liners. So go out and pick some up, grab some chocolate chips to make it extra wonderful. (Don’t bother buying extra vegetable oil.)

Step 7: Come back, realize oven had been preheating the entire time you were gone and you almost burned down your home.

Step 8: Add all ingredients together. Reach for electric mixer. Remember that you threw away electric mixer after the last time you made cupcakes because you burned out the mixer while accidentally making a gallon of icing.

Step 9: Mix.By.Hand.

Step 10: Batter is lumpy.

Step 11: Keep.Mixing.

Step 12: Batter is still lumpy.

Step 13: Realize that you will never get the batter to be smooth because you used butter and not vegetable oil. Decide that butter is delicious and that  the little lumps will probably make tiny delicious butter spots in cupcakes and everything will be fine.

Step 14: Fill cupcake liners. End up with 21 instead of 24 cupcakes, realize you probably filled the other cupcakes to full.

Step 15: Decide it will be fine, extra big cupcakes are extra exciting and put cupcakes in oven.

Step 16: During clean-up find the chocolate chips that you forgot to add.

Step 17: Lick.Mixing.Bowl.Clean

Step 18: Pull cupcakes out of oven, they smell delicious but have weird little butter holes in them.

Step 19: Fill chocolate cupcakes with this amazing lime marmalade using this method.

Step 20:  On the way home the next day stop at Tar-jay to pick up a new electric mixer & discover that TARGET IS OUT OF ELECTRIC MIXERS!

Step 21: Briefly consider putting one of those $300 counter mixers on your credit card but nix the idea since you haven’t missed the hand mixer in the last 10 months and pick up a cheap blender instead. Because you need a new blender anyway and you are 63% sure that it will make the icing for you.

Step 22: Make homemade vanilla frosting in the blender. Nearly burn out the motor because it was a $16 dollar blender and really… did you expect it to be able to mix together butter and sugar?

Step 23: Ice cupcakes.

Step 23: When you only have two cupcakes left… run out of icing…

Step 24: Eat the dog gone cupcakes anyway. Because it will be delicious.

All the cupcakes we have left! Ultimately we had a fantastic time hanging out together. It was just five of us, we killed 3 bottles of wine, a dozen cupcakes, and a huge spinach salad I threw together last minute. To be fair the birthday girl took home some of the left over cupcakes, but these wouldn’t fit in her Tupperware.

 

  • http://profiles.google.com/emma.frankart Emma Frankart

    Haha, this is why I don’t bake.

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      Ha, I thought Betty Crocker would make things easier for me. But even she can’t save me from kitchen drama.

  • http://tinfoilstiaras.blogspot.com/ Tinfoil Tiaras

    Haha oh Loren this sounds like my adventures in the kitchen- frustration galore! But the end result is adorable, your friends seemed to enjoy them and you used my favourite chef- Ms. crocker for some assistance! :)

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      It was supposed to be a simple ‘no trouble’ recipe. And then I walked into the kitchen, so of course problems happened.

  • http://theperpetualstudentswife.blogspot.com/ Kate, Perpetual Student’s Wife

    Cutest How-To of the week. I’d eat one, for sure.

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      They really were delicious I promise. And the ‘filling’ which I thought would be the hard part turned out to be the easiest thing I did.

  • http://feathersfreckles.blogspot.com Feathers & Freckles

    Haha, this made me laugh. I’m awful at baking, I always burn whatever I’m trying to make.

    They look delicious!

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      They turned out AWESOME. Despite all the drama.

  • ThreadsAndButtons

    Haha! That is quite the cupcake adventure. And I am TOTALLY going to try to make frosting in my blender next time!

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      Well… if you have a better blender it might work. You would expect that something that is supposed to be able to crush ice will be able to mix icing, but I cannot recommend that method because the blender started smoking… a little bit… at one point… Other than that the icing turned out GREAT! Tastes much better than store bought and is super simple.

  • cheapchicinchicago

    Cupcakes with little butter pockets sound absolutely delish to me, were they good?!

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      They were pretty much amazing actually. Putting butter in those batter mixes usually makes them taste better (IMO)

  • http://14shadesofgrey.wordpress.com/ Salazar

    I have officially watched too much “Cupcake Wars”, because when you said you substituted butter and still had to keep mixing the batter, I had to fight the urge to scream, “Melt the butter! Don’t over-mix it!”

    They looked good though, and I have to applaud you for attempting to bake without a mixer. I only have a hand mixer, but I wouldn’t dream of making homemade frosting without it!

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      Ha! Yeah, I knew not to ‘over mix’ that’s why I went ahead and baked them with little butter flecks. I WOULD have melted the butter before, if I’d REMEMBERED my electric mixer was broken.
      I’ve only seen like one episode of cupcake wars though ;)

  • Marie_McGrath

    Hahahahaha this post made me smile. I really love the way you told the story, so cute. The cupcakes sound delicious despite all the obstacles you encountered. Glad to hear you had a wonderful time!

    http://www.thejoyoffashion.blogspot.com

  • http://www.unapologeticallymundane.com/ Unapologetically Mundane

    It’s so GIRLY to eat a salad before you dive into two platters of cupcakes.

    Kind of dying to go to the store on the way home and grab a canister of icing now. ‘Cause I ain’t making that stuff myself.

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      Nah, my salad was awesome.
      Also you should learn to make it because it is 1. Way cheaper, 2.) way more delicious.
      Alternatively. Put your canister of icing in the freezer. It’s like the best Ice Cream you ever eaten. :)

  • Sara

    Oh this was so fun to read! I really, really want some cupcakes now.

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      Betty Crocker, she’s a really good cook ;)

  • http://fashion.kitkatherine.com/ Katherine McAdoo

    ahahaha! they look pretty anyway! sounds like a fun time!

    i would die if i didn’t have a mixer, but i love that you tried it in a blender instead. for a long time i had this TERRIBLE oster mixer from the 60s from my mom that was on high speed at 1, low speed at like 4, and i never went past that out of fear. then i got that 300 dollar kitchen aid mixer and i find myself jumping around out of happiness. my mother in law even dropped it on concrete once and the beast is still goin!

    • http://hal.cyondays.com Loren Cline

      If I used a mixer more than twice a year, or had any amount of free counter space I might get a counter mixer. I settled a deal with my mother (who lives two blocks away) that I would just borrow her mixer in the future.

  • http://theblogofworldlydelights.blogspot.com laura

    uhm… but the cupcakes look fab! and with that much wine, you won’t even be able to tell whether they were good or not (or cooked or not, even ;)

  • http://euniqlyquixotic.blogspot.com Eunica Emano

    LOL! this post made me laugh! such a sweet effort for a friend’s bday, Loren ;)

    and the cupcakes look cute and delish!

    http://euniclyquixotic.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.theclotheswewear.com Van @ The Clothes We Wear

    Oh dear!! I’m glad that you all ended up with a fine time, even if the cupcake making was painful. Me and baking (sweets) don’t mix. But give me some veggies, a protein and skillet–I’ll cook you a winning meal.

  • http://shybiker.blogspot.com/ Shybiker

    What a story! I think it should be turned into a movie. Let’s see… who will play you??