Tag Archives: inspiration

I Language vs. You Language

I ordered this top (dress) from Modcloth a couple of months ago and even though I love the pattern & the cutout on the back I literally cannot wear it as a dress because the skirt part does not fit me.

I am pretty much totally happy with the way I look. I love my curvy bits, and my freckles, and my short legs, and my funky short hair.

But still I find plenty of things that don’t fit me, or aren’t flattering, or are just plain weird.

In college I took a business writing class. The professor went into specifics about ‘I language statements vs. you language statements’.

You Language

“Your joke wasn’t funny.’

I Language

“I don’t think that was funny.”

‘You language’ puts the blame on the receiver, and can easily be interpreted as an attack.  So you shouldn’t use in business writing (or arguments with your spouse).

When I am in the dressing room it’s easy to fall into those familiar “I language statements’

‘I am to fat for this dress’

‘My hips are to big for this’.

The truth is that the dress isn’t right. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with me, or with you. We are not at fault when an inanimate object doesn’t look good on us. It’s weird that I still use these statements because the clothing doesn’t have feelings, I won’t disappoint a skirt when I tell it ‘Things just aren’t working out’, there’s no reason to say to a dress ‘It’s not you, it’s me’.

I think ‘you language’ belongs in the dressing room. Lately when I step into a dressing room I’ve been practicing my ‘you language’ statements like.

‘This skirt is to small.’

‘This top doesn’t suit me.’

‘This dress is not proportioned correctly.’

Which is exactly the problem I ran into with this Modcloth dress, the top fits me well but the bottom will not pull over my hips, because my hips are wonderful and this dress is to not proportioned to fit my body type.

Progress is More Beautiful than Perfection

I need more skirts with a chiffon underskirt.

Everything seen here is second hand, don’t you love it when that happens?

Please know, I am paraphrasing Rhi from Hey Gorgeous in the title

This has become my mantra for the next couple weeks. Although I would not consider myself a perfectionist, I sometimes find myself paralyzed when things aren’t exactlythewaythatIneedthemtobe. (Is that what perfectionism is?) When that fear stops you from doing something new, or trying something different. Sometimes it is better to push forward than to try & make everything ‘exactly correct’. That is something I’ve been trying here on this blog. Sometimes I publish posts I am not 100% happy with or an outfit that didn’t turn out quite right, because movement & change are sometimes more important that being perfect.

Maybe you know the feeling… that you shouldn’t pick up the pen because you aren’t “talented enough”, that you shouldn’t have friends over because the house isn’t spotless, or even that you shouldn’t wash the dishes right now because you don’t have time to wash all the dishes. These moments, they are the ones that I want to avoid. I’m going to pick up the pen, and throw that party, and only wash five dishes.

Because five clean dishes is better than no clean dishes.

I think that is a metaphor. I’m not exactly sure what for, but I’m writing it here anyway because things don’t have to be perfect!

So I saw nearly this exact outfit on Pinterest a couple weeks ago. And I thought ‘oooo that is really pretty’ and I filed it away for a ‘special event’, or a night that I knew something amazing would happen. And then I waited for the ‘right’ time. But then I read Rhi’s post and decided I would wear it today, because everyday should be ‘special’ and I will make something awesome happen.

For Those Days When You Think Everything You Do is Awful

I’ve been having some really crippling moments of self doubt lately.

I try not to post about them here because this is my happy space where I can focus on all the beautiful creative things that I want to do more of.

I just wanted to post this, because I find Ira Glass to be one of the most amazingly talented inspirations, and I hope it helps out someone else who may be feeling like nothing they do is ‘good enough’.

Ira Glass & I are both rooting for you.

Word to your mothers.

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.