I ordered this top (dress) from Modcloth a couple of months ago and even though I love the pattern & the cutout on the back I literally cannot wear it as a dress because the skirt part does not fit me.
I am pretty much totally happy with the way I look. I love my curvy bits, and my freckles, and my short legs, and my funky short hair.
But still I find plenty of things that don’t fit me, or aren’t flattering, or are just plain weird.
In college I took a business writing class. The professor went into specifics about ‘I language statements vs. you language statements’.
“Your joke wasn’t funny.’
“I don’t think that was funny.”
‘You language’ puts the blame on the receiver, and can easily be interpreted as an attack. So you shouldn’t use in business writing (or arguments with your spouse).
When I am in the dressing room it’s easy to fall into those familiar “I language statements’
‘I am to fat for this dress’
‘My hips are to big for this’.
The truth is that the dress isn’t right. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with me, or with you. We are not at fault when an inanimate object doesn’t look good on us. It’s weird that I still use these statements because the clothing doesn’t have feelings, I won’t disappoint a skirt when I tell it ‘Things just aren’t working out’, there’s no reason to say to a dress ‘It’s not you, it’s me’.
I think ‘you language’ belongs in the dressing room. Lately when I step into a dressing room I’ve been practicing my ‘you language’ statements like.
‘This skirt is to small.’
‘This top doesn’t suit me.’
‘This dress is not proportioned correctly.’
Which is exactly the problem I ran into with this Modcloth dress, the top fits me well but the bottom will not pull over my hips, because my hips are wonderful and this dress is to not proportioned to fit my body type.